Slow progression is the hardest. I hear things such as, “you didn’t gain 5 pounds overnight, so don’t expect to lose it overnight.” No, but I think it’s possible to gain it in a week and then it takes 4 weeks to lose it. All the things you’re try to recover from, get over, or change takes more than the time it did to create.
It’s said that a habit take 21 days to change by replacing it with a new one. True for most things and it’s easy to slide back in just a few days. However, once I’ve managed to feel good as I’ve replaced something, then it’s easier to get past the setback if I go back to my convictions. However, changing the negatives in my life isn’t easy. We learn the most from out mistakes and challenges. Also, the very last cliche at this moment, is that it takes 10 positives to erase a negative. (Please don’t think you can say terrible things to someone and then tell them many positive things and that will change things. That in itself is another matter and takes time for healing. On that one, first you have to learn to forgive yourself, which is the most difficult. Now, I’m rambling.)
I began to form new habits, but it was easy to slip back to the old ones once the conditions weren’t there that helped me create the new habits. It’s not up to the universe to make the conditions right. It’s up to me. I have to find ways to make it work. I suppose that’s why we learn from our challenges is because of solving out issues and through our own creativity. We all have some kind of creativity.
My laptop is quite convenient and I love Facebook. However, they both are detriments when needing to accomplish my goals.
At one point, I was working out 3-4 days a week at the gym. I’d be on the Internet early in the morning and sometimes in the evening, but not as much as I had been or am now. That in itself has to change. I have to find any job.
What I’ve accomplished though is–I paid off my debt to the IRS. I’ve been managing my diabetes better, keeping it down, and laying off candy. I’ve lost a couple pounds, but am in danger of gaining it back while sitting on my ass. The trick is to get off my ass. It’s always easier to exercise in the summer, but I have to have something that will keep me busy all year. The other thing is that Brandon may have a job. He says he does, but I also don’t like to get excited till we’ve gotten past start day and he’s worked a couple months. The problem with this job is that they will have layoffs when winter begins, so he’ll have to look at other jobs.
I’m watching the balances on most of my bills getting lower and that’s good, but it’s not a big enough change, therefore another job is essential. I don’t know if I’ll do it today, but tomorrow, I need to register at a temp place. At least it will give me a bit of flexibility.
I know it sounds funny, but I’ll still write down my criteria for another job. I want it to be flexible enough, so that I may either work from home or go into the office. The office needs to be on the third floor or higher, so that I will use stairs. It also needs to have windows preferably to the Southeast. I need the sun. And I’d like to make about $10 an hour or more. Oh and the flexibility for me to go in on a weekend if I need to. Then I can possibly even work the paid work from within this office. Perhaps if the situation was met, I’d go less an hour. I’m wanting to make approximately an additional $300 a week, but 250 is okay too if I have the flexibility of hours and time, then also a place with windows where I can retreat to. Laugh if you will, but those are the important points just one down from the money I need to make. Oh and I even want to be able to work some Sundays because for some reason that is a productive time for me and I’m not able to use that time to my full advantage most Sundays.
Most of all, I have to start standing up for my goals and myself. If my business is being conducted properly, then I’m the only one to blame. Like for instance on a temp job I do, I seem to never get paid enough. I need to be more accurate on my calculations and have the money decided up front if I ever do another job for them. I’m done being cheated or even feeling cheated.
Time to move myself off this couch and to get some paid work done, then I will go walk with my girl. I’m not going to make long lists of things I’ll accomplish each day cause it doesn’t happen that way and then I get discouraged. However, I will do as Earl Nightingale says and make a list of a few things, then do them. I may only start with 2 or maybe 3, but I will get there.
Later I will blog about the upstairs apartment and feelings about it.